From: spike66 (spike66@attbi.com)
Date: Thu May 30 2002 - 23:57:20 MDT
Ok, so now a major league baseball player has confessed
to using illegal steroids. There is much bleating and
hand wringing over this, for it is feared that young players
coming up into pro sports will feel they must use illegal steroids
to make it to the big leagues. They may suffer from a long
list of maladies, such as ruptured tendons and reduced
genital size. (Im not making this up.) Furthermore the
sanctity of old sports records will be harmed.
I propose another way to look at it. First of all, steroids
are not inherently illegal. Given a doctor's prescription,
they are perfectly legal, and are not controlled in Mexico.
So if a Mexican doctor prescribes the steroids for an American
sports pro, would that be legal? Could any doctor from
any country prescribe steroids as a treatment for oversized
genitals? Then the muscle building would be an unintentional
side effect.
I really dont see the problem with the whole notion of
performance enhancement for professional athletes. Office
workers have been using caffiene as a performance
enhancement drug since offices were first invented. I myself
consider the performance enhancement of caffiene as a
side effect, since I am primarily using it as a treatment
for oversized genitals. (Hey! Its a miracle! Im cured!)
As for the sanctity of old batting averages, I have an
idea there too. We can make two separate record
books. The old records can be treated as kind of
like the special olympics, or the records for the
handicapped, or the technology challenged. This
will discourage direct comparison of present and future
athletes, against which the old time superheros would
appear to suck. spike
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