From: David Lubkin (extropy@unreasonable.com)
Date: Sat Apr 20 2002 - 17:05:44 MDT
At 02:52 AM 4/19/2002 -0400, Harvey wrote:
>I apologize. I do get overzealous and excited on certain topics. I think
>I have responded too literally to your suppositions, and I think you
>probably have responded too defensively to my critiques. Besides the
>ineffectual progress problem mentioned before, I think the difficulty of
>debate over e-mail is our second biggest problem. It may be our monkey
>genes, or it may be the medium of e-mail, or it may be inevitable. Humans
>get emotional when the argue and disagree. It gets worse when basic core
>assumptions are challenged or opposed. It is even worse in our case where
>very intelligent and creative individuals deserving of respect in all
>sorts of different areas oppose such issues that seem obvious to our own
>personal beliefs. We can't just ignore such differences, since we want to
>work together and plan an extended future of cooperation and
>accomplishment. This makes it ever more vital and more frustrating to
>disagree. So we try harder, and we keep trying, and we just won't quit
>trying to rehash the same issue indefinitely, trying to find some common
>ground or at least some understanding.
:
Nicely put. We extropians, individually and as we interact with each
other, are far more governed by our social conditioning and biological
heritage than we like to admit. We espouse such grand ideals and then fall
far short of them in practice.
But it's so damned hard to change. For example, growing up Jewish in the
New York area, I took it for granted that people interrupt each other in
conversation. Everyone does it, and no one minds particularly or thinks
less of you. Then I moved to a state where it was considered insufferably
rude. Since then -- 20 years now -- I've been trying to retrain myself not
to interrupt, recognizing that my speaking style was harming my
effectiveness in achieving my goals in interacting with other people. I
haven't gotten very far.
The only times I've been able to make permanent changes in habits like that
have been when I had a friend, co-worker, or SO who would bring every lapse
to my attention. After a few weeks, the modification would become
ingrained and there was no longer a risk of reversion.
So, two important questions:
(1) What has/hasn't worked for you in behavioral transformation?
(2) What can we do as a group or individually to improve the tenor
of discussion on the list?
-- David.
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