Re: Quantum Claus

From: Michael S. Lorrey (retroman@together.net)
Date: Mon Dec 28 1998 - 08:01:14 MST


Damien Broderick wrote:

> Belatedly (but perhaps still timely in some other relativistic Frame of
> Reference), I thought people might like to learn about a remarkable new
> Santa theory posted on another list by Carol Ryles, who wrote:
>
> ==========================
> SANTA CLAUS: A Quantum Perspective.
>
> Santa knows better than to consult engineers. He is after all, the ‘stuff
> of dreams’ so he knows how to use the ‘dreams of stuff’ to his own
> advantage.
>
> Think of Santa as a kind of thought experiment – like Schrödinger’s cat or
> Schrödinger’s dog (I would have liked to have seen the puppies), or even .
> . . Schrödinger’s catalyst. (Put your guns away now – I haven’t finished).
>
> Think of Santa’s sleigh as a sealed box. Inside is every possible toy, all
> superimposed. The box is controlled by a navigation device, directed
> towards each of the [many hundreds of millions of] possible homes. The
> outcome of course, is
> controlled by radioactive decay.

This is an excellent explaination. THis also explains the phenomenon of 'planned
obsolescence' in the toy industry. It is a cover for the fact that all the toys
Santa delivers only exist as part of their individual Closed Time-Like Curves,
which have a wavelength of one year. The kids only think they have forgotten
about the old toys, or gotten tired of them. The fact is that when the CTC
closes at the next christmas, the toys no longer exist in real space. Using this
system, Santa uses no excess energy, conservation is conserved. The childs
memory of the now nonexistent toys is merely a resonance effect that dampens
out over time. This is why most people don't remember much from childhood,
because most of it was overwritten every year by the Sine-Time Clause of Quantum
Dynamics....eventually most of it is forgotten. It also explains why the typical
kids response to a parent or adult asking what they were doing when they were
having so much fun: "I dunno", "I forget", "Nuthin' "......

Mike Lorrey



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