From: Robin Hanson (hanson@econ.berkeley.edu)
Date: Mon Aug 10 1998 - 12:50:38 MDT
When I saw the first few posts in the "hot extropian women" thread,
I flagged it as just another thread I thought I could predict, and
so wasn't interested in reading. But it surprised me.
I agree many of the early posters could have been more "civilized",
but I've actually been more surprised by many of the reactions.
My overwhelming reaction here is one of empathy. There are a lot of
guys on this list (maybe a majority?) who are really hurting emotionally.
They strongly desire the company of females, but feel (and may well be)
unwanted. And they are all the more pained to discover that extropian
type interests are another turnoff to the women they meet. This is a
big issue for these men, and it's well worthy of further discussion.
Now maybe some could have been more diplomatic in expressing their pain,
but it pains me more to see so little empathy for their pain among the
various reactions. I see blatant sales, indigation at describing a
desired woman as a "hot babe", people scolded for their inadequate
features or strategies, and people bragging about how they don't have
such problems. But I haven't seen enough of: Yeah, it hurts; we're
sorry; how can we help?
Yes, this topic may well make the few women on this list feel
uncomfortable. So let's all try to make it clear: We treasure women,
and not just or even primarily as potential dates. (And I for one wish
the female lurkers would speak up more often.)
But let's also remember: male pain is real, and deserves attention, even
if it isn't articulate pretty or articulate. Let's acknowledge that
on average male nerds, especially extropian male nerds, are less desired
by women. Then let's try to understand more about why, and see if we
can help.
Robin Hanson
hanson@econ.berkeley.edu http://hanson.berkeley.edu/
RWJF Health Policy Scholar, Sch. of Public Health 510-643-1884
140 Warren Hall, UC Berkeley, CA 94720-7360 FAX: 510-643-2627
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