From: Michael Lorrey (retroman@tpk.net)
Date: Mon Dec 30 1996 - 13:18:28 MST
Kennita Watson wrote:
>
> >Considering that I've been involved in actively working to get a number
> >of freinds and colleagues in Seattle sober, I would be the last person
> >to say to hell with them.
>
> Good for you! How is it going? What would you say are the things you've
> tried that work best?
Well, my biggest, or his biggest success, was my former business
partner, A... Hes now 3 years sober. He was the one I tried the most
with, endured the most crap with, etc. Many of his trust fund kiddie
freinds have now gotten with the "new" thing as a result.
As for A.... here's things I did in this order:
1) as he was originally a powder coke rave partier, I told all of his
high class drug dealers that I would shoot them if they supplied
anything to him. This cut things out for a while, but when things got
difficult with our lighting business, he started cruising down to the
Rainier Valley area of Seattle to score from the ghetto boys (any of you
that know Seattle know what I'm talking about). As he was not as
affluent at that point due to the difficulties with our business, he got
into crack.
2) I put up with it for a while, figuring that as long as the SOB kept
the business supported, I wouldn't care what he did to his brain. But
eventually it got so bad that I arranged an intervention. the most
difficult thing was to get his mother to get involved. She put him in
treatment.
3) When he got out of treatment, he stated that he needed everyones
support,etc... (i.e. setting up conditions to relapse and blame it on
others) so I said I would not drink at all and would go to AA meetings
every day with him (for 6 months).
4) I think this level of support on my part, and that he met a really
nice stable girl a few months later who he is now engaged to was the
biggest thing to help him stay sober.
I really support the intervention process, and that the more family and
freinds who actively support the persons efforts for as long as possible
helps ensure continuing sobriety.
Which work least well? How well do the people
> involved know you, and do you think your techniques would work on people
> that knew you less well or not at all?
In my case, I had never experienced anything like cocaine until I got
into business with this individual and began associating with many of
his upper crust associates. A small amount of pot plus the normal
fraternity partying like hell in college was all I had ever seen, so the
whole thing was quite an eye opener. needless to say, my early efforts
didn't work, as I really didn't understand what I was dealing with.
>
> >But also because of my experience, I can tell
> >you that substance abuse is merely a symptom of other problems,
> >typically having to do with childhood trauma.
>
> Mostly I'm suggesting that framing them as "screwed up", as in
>
> >If they weren't screwed up to begin with,
> >substance abuse would not be a problem.
>
> may be an obstacle to what you're trying to do. In my experience,
> people detect such attitudes and get defensive. Note that I ascribe
> to the idea that our language affects our thoughts (and vice-versa);
> I suppose it's one of the reasons I'm not big on sarcasm.
One of the big things both I an he learned were that you must
acknowledge how screwed up you are. We all are screwed up. Thinking
you're a titan and invincible is just a trip to insanity.
I think the biggest thing I like about transhumanism, and why I no
longer care so much for the continual "I'm a piece of shit, and there's
nothing I can do about it" mentality of many AA people is the hope for
actual improvment in the average human condition, and that such
improvement takes the actual efforts of us as individuals.
>
--
TANSTAAFL!!!
Michael Lorrey
------------------------------------------------------------
President retroman@tpk.net
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------------------------------------------------------------
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------------------------------------------------------------
If I saw further than others, it is because I had an
unjoggled view from standing on my own two feet.
- Mike Lorrey
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