From: Olga Bourlin (fauxever@sprynet.com)
Date: Mon May 20 2002 - 01:46:14 MDT
Olga Bourlin
From: "Samantha Atkins" <samantha@objectent.com>
>
> > Kudos, Eliezer. What you summed up in your last sentence is brilliant
> > observation, especially "and don't be disappointed if you don't." (I
say,
> > isn't having children self indulgent enough?) Luckily, I was reared in
a
> > home where I was left pretty much to roam at will as far as domestic
chores
> > were concerned (I pitched in when I was inspired), and (probably out of
> > ignorance) reared my own children the same way. However, the legacy of
the
> > people who reared me (in my case, mother and maternal grandparents) has
> > never left me - to this day I use a simple wooden spoon which had been
my
> > grandmother's, and every time I use it I think of her and the all those
> > years she spent cooking for all of us, and am flooded with feelings of
> > gratitude.
> This is certainly wonderful but I don't see it would have been
> any less wonderful if she expected you to set the table or help
> in the cooking when you got a bit older.
>
The crucial word here is "expected." Maybe if it was expected of me, I
wouldn't have done chores as happily by volunteering. I did help with
cooking, but it was not expected (actually, I thought cooking was great
fun - and love it to this day). I don't remember anyone in my household
encouraging me to do well in school, either - bit I somehow understood from
a very early age that it was something I did - or did not do - for myself
(and I still love "educating" myself, to this day). The idea of living up
to other people's ideas of what one should do or be seems dreadful to me.
I'm my own scorekeeper.
Olga
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