From: Samantha Atkins (samantha@objectent.com)
Date: Sun May 19 2002 - 23:51:08 MDT
Olga Bourlin wrote:
> From: "Eliezer S. Yudkowsky" <sentience@pobox.com>
>
>>Dossy wrote:
>>
>>>How did you learn to do all these things on your own? Who
>>>are you helping, other than perhaps yourself? You think it's
>>>good to teach kids to be self-serving?
>>>
>
>>I think you don't *need* to teach kids to be self-serving. However, you
>>can't teach kids to be altruistic by making them take out the garbage.
>>
> The
>
>>human mind just does not work that way, at least not in my experience. If
>>you want to create altruism, give the kids opportunities for self-willed
>>altruism, reward it when you see it, and don't be disappointed if you
>>
> don't.
>
Helping around the house has nothing at all to do with altruism.
It does have a lot to do with a sense of fairness and having a
stake (input and responsibilities) in one's environment.
> Kudos, Eliezer. What you summed up in your last sentence is brilliant
> observation, especially "and don't be disappointed if you don't." (I say,
> isn't having children self indulgent enough?) Luckily, I was reared in a
> home where I was left pretty much to roam at will as far as domestic chores
> were concerned (I pitched in when I was inspired), and (probably out of
> ignorance) reared my own children the same way. However, the legacy of the
> people who reared me (in my case, mother and maternal grandparents) has
> never left me - to this day I use a simple wooden spoon which had been my
> grandmother's, and every time I use it I think of her and the all those
> years she spent cooking for all of us, and am flooded with feelings of
> gratitude.
>
This is certainly wonderful but I don't see it would have been
any less wonderful if she expected you to set the table or help
in the cooking when you got a bit older. Some of my best
memories are cooking and doing other tasks with my mother, my
father or my grandparents. They weren't necessarily tasks I was
inspired to volunteer for.
- samantha
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