From: phil osborn (philosborn@hotmail.com)
Date: Tue Aug 24 1999 - 20:11:53 MDT
>Lets take a straw poll, how many people in the group
>were "outsiders" as children, e.g. played mostly alone,
>had only a few friends, or were generally rejected by
>the social cliques that educational system produces?
>
>Robert
Actually, I was the life of the party as a kid, to the point that I
transcended it. I was literally the most popular kid in my class in most of
elementary and high school, voted "class king" in high school, etc., etc.
When it goes that well but you're also raised to be super-critical, then at
some point you begin to see how thin the facade is. I could see that with
all I had going for me, there was no limit socially, but I didn't want it,
because the one thing I was starving for was the truth.
I consciously rejected social success and made a conscious, explicit
decision to be an outsider. I figured that the only way to see the truth
was to put yourself in a position that appeared - or really was - vulnerable
to attack. Then you find out who the real good people are. (Also the real
bad ones.)
I had the advantage of being caught up early on in multiple levels of
social/psychological conflict as a displaced yankee kid in the deep South.
I literally had to fight every single day in first grade against little
rebels out to defend the honor of the South, and as I was finally accepted
because I didn't quit and I started winning all the fights, and then
excelled at virtually everything I tried, I never forgot that year, or all
the levels of hypocrisy and prejudice pervading that milleau, and I've
always watched other people since then to see how they behave toward other
people who are weak and vulnerable, because it's only when they're free to
act without apparent personal consequences that you see their real
preferences.
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