From: Max More (max@maxmore.com)
Date: Fri Dec 18 1998 - 15:48:51 MST
>Actual recorded dialogue of a (note:) former WordPerfect Customer Support
employee:
>
>"Ridge Hall computer assistant, may I help you?"
>"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
>"What sort of trouble?"
>"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
>"Went away?"
>"They disappeared."
>"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
>"Nothing."
>"Nothing?"
>"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
>"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
>"How do I tell?"
>"Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"
>"What's a sea-prompt?"
>"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
>"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
>"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
>"What's a monitor?"
>"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
>Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
>"I don't know."
>"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
goes into it. Can you see that?"
>"Yes, I think so."
>"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the
wall."
>"Yes, it is."
>"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
>"No."
>"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
cable."
>"Okay, here it is."
>"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
your computer."
>"I can't reach."
>"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
>"No."
>"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
>"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's
dark."
>"Dark?"
>"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from
the window."
>"Well, turn on the office light then."
>"I can't."
>"No? Why not?"
>"Because there's a power outage."
>"A power ... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now.
>Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came in?"
>"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
>"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
>"Really? Is it that bad?"
>"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
>"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
>"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
>
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