From: Michael Lorrey (retroman@tpk.net)
Date: Mon Apr 07 1997 - 15:53:33 MDT
Here's some computer humor from the sticks up heah:
>>>> The Vermonter's Guide to Computer Lingo
>>>>
>>>> Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.
>>>> Log Off: Don't add wood.
>>>> Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove.
>>>> Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
>>>> Mega Hertz: When yer not carefull downloadin' (watch th' toes!)
>>>> Floppy Disk: Whacha get from pilin' too much firewood.
>>>> Disk Operating System: The equipment the Doc uses when you have a
>>>> floppy disk.
>>>> RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter
>>work.
>>>> Hard Drive: Gettin' home in mud season.
>>>> Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season.
>>>> Windows: What to shut when it's 30 below.
>>>> Screen: What you need for black fly season.
>>>> Byte: What black flies do.
>>>> Chip: What to munch on.
>>>> Micro Chip: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone.
>>>> Infrared: Where the left-over's go when Fred's around.
>>>> Modem: What you did to the hay fields.
>>>> Dot Matrix: John Matrix's wife.
>>>> Printer: Someone who can't write in cursive.
>>>> Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy
>>>> Keyboard: Where you hang your keys.
>>>> Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.
>>>> 486: One of them fancy imported cars.
>>>> Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn.
>>>> Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the roof up.
>>>> Port: Fancy wine.
>>>> Enter: C'mon in!
>>>> Random Access Memory: You can't remember how much that new rifle >>
>> cost when your wife asks.
>>>> Digital: Like those numbers that flip on your alarm clock.
>>>> Apple: If you don't know, I ain't tellin'.
>>>> Program: What's on TV when there's reception.
>>>> CD ROM: The furrnier at the bank that sells retirement
>>>> accounts.
>>>> DIN: The noise at the barn dance.
>>>> Laser: Someone less ambitious than you.
>>>> Line In: Whatcha do when you go fishin' or whacha dry yer
>>>> laundry on.
>>>
--
TANSTAAFL!!!
Michael Lorrey
------------------------------------------------------------
mailto:retroman@tpk.net Inventor of the Lorrey Drive
Agent Lorrey@ThePentagon.com
Silo_1013@ThePentagon.com http://www.tpk.net/~retroman/
Mikey's Animatronic Factory
My Own Nuclear Espionage Agency (MONEA)
MIKEYMAS(tm): The New Internet Holiday
Transhumans of New Hampshire (>HNH)
------------------------------------------------------------
#!/usr/local/bin/perl-0777---export-a-crypto-system-sig-RC4-3-lines-PERL
@k=unpack('C*',pack('H*',shift));for(@t=@s=0..255){$y=($k[$_%@k]+$s[$x=$_
]+$y)%256;&S}$x=$y=0;for(unpack('C*',<>)){$x++;$y=($s[$x%=256]+$y)%256;
&S;print pack(C,$_^=$s[($s[$x]+$s[$y])%256])}sub S{@s[$x,$y]=@s[$y,$x]}
attached mail follows:
>Return-path: Sarah.Alden@valley.net
>X-Sender: Sarah.Alden@pop.valley.net
>To: mark.boillotat@dartmouth.edu, barbaraa@zlogic.com,
> beowulf@huskynet.com, HORSE1701@AOL.com, sal@keene.edu,
> Susan.P.LeBrun@valley.net, terryp@zlogic.com,
> persinge@ccmailpc.ctron.com, jjoyce@pisgah.keene.edu,
> paw@phibes.dartmouth.edu, dominic.albanese@valley.net,
> christina.lorrey@valley.net
>From: Sarah.Alden.<Sarah.Alden@valley.net>
>Subject: FW: Woodchuck computer humor
>
>
>> ----------
>>>>
>>>> The Vermonter's Guide to Computer Lingo
>>>>
>>>> Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.
>>>> Log Off: Don't add wood.
>>>> Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove.
>>>> Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
>>>> Mega Hertz: When yer not carefull downloadin' (watch th' toes!)
>>>> Floppy Disk: Whacha get from pilin' too much firewood.
>>>> Disk Operating System: The equipment the Doc uses when you have a
>>>> floppy disk.
>>>> RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter
>>work.
>>>> Hard Drive: Gettin' home in mud season.
>>>> Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season.
>>>> Windows: What to shut when it's 30 below.
>>>> Screen: What you need for black fly season.
>>>> Byte: What black flies do.
>>>> Chip: What to munch on.
>>>> Micro Chip: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone.
>>>> Infrared: Where the left-over's go when Fred's around.
>>>> Modem: What you did to the hay fields.
>>>> Dot Matrix: John Matrix's wife.
>>>> Printer: Someone who can't write in cursive.
>>>> Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy
>>>> Keyboard: Where you hang your keys.
>>>> Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.
>>>> 486: One of them fancy imported cars.
>>>> Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn.
>>>> Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the roof up.
>>>> Port: Fancy wine.
>>>> Enter: C'mon in!
>>>> Random Access Memory: You can't remember how much that new rifle >>
>> cost when your wife asks.
>>>> Digital: Like those numbers that flip on your alarm clock.
>>>> Apple: If you don't know, I ain't tellin'.
>>>> Program: What's on TV when there's reception.
>>>> CD ROM: The furrnier at the bank that sells retirement
>>>> accounts.
>>>> DIN: The noise at the barn dance.
>>>> Laser: Someone less ambitious than you.
>>>> Line In: Whatcha do when you go fishin' or whacha dry yer
>>>> laundry on.
>>>
>>>
>>
>>
>>
>
>
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