From: natashavita@earthlink.net
Date: Tue Oct 15 2002 - 12:30:21 MDT
From: Eugen Leitl eugen@leitl.org
>On Tue, 15 Oct 2002, Sabine Atkins wrote:<
>>I think sites like match.com are just not the right places for
>>transhumanists and Extropians to look for a date.
>I would tend to disagree. The pool size of mainstream match-making sites
is much larger, self-selected (everybody is looking, and has minimal
technology interest by being online) and allows you a high-throughput
semiautomatic screening by spatial and compatibility profiles. The
communication is semianonymous and low-friction, at times realtime and
multimedia. It definitely beats the meatspace meat market by orders of
magnitude as far as efficiency is concerned.<
________________________
It seems that both means are possible turf for mating dances. One aspect
of being transhumanist and, especially, an extropian transhumanist, is that
there is a tendency for diverse interests, but an over emphasis on
excluding others who have different beliefs. It isn't necessary for
partners to have all the same beliefs, but a desire to learn and an ability
to explore. Since many people in society are aligned deeply with singular
beliefs, certain areas are obtuse for finding partners. However, there are
many other avenues. One problem with the transhumanist community is a lack
of wide spread interests, but a narrowing focuses of right and wrong with
little space for compassion for the rest of humanity.
Better than email or net dating services, I find conferences, seminars and
festivals rich and populated venues for meeting people. I have met many
friends at these types of events, especially film festivals and Extro
conferences. Even better, or equally as profitable, are resorts: ski
resorts. Apre ski coziness by a fire can be a charmed location for
relaxing and enjoying all sorts of people. Even if you start with only a
sport in common, you will find someone who relishes a joy of life that
could be a needed change from a computer potato you might meet at an online
debate.
Recently, I was having a drink with a girlfriend on a curbside patio in
Santa Monica on 3rd Street Promenade. Midstream in conversation, I looked
up and saw a man walking by who looked familiar. We both did a double take
and than recognized each other. He joined my friend and me and we had a
wonderful evening. During the evening we discussed a myriad of topics, but
one that we explored the topic of compassion and why there is a seemingly
lack of compassion in the transhumanist and, especially, cryonics
community.
Transhumanists and cryonicists talk about living longer - why we love life
and don't want to give in to the taunting call of death. We are so focused
on our own need and desire to live longer that we come off as not giving a
damn about the rest of society. However, each of us may think that this is
untrue in deference to our peers, and ourselves but to the public it seems
that we are self-centered. Rather, my friend suggested that we, and
himself included, show more compassion to the world and express our
concerns for all of humanity about the tyranny of death. My friend is
Michael West.
You may think that this has little to do with the dating dance, but in fact
it has a lot to do with our self-image and what we want in our potential
partners.
I met my husband at a transhumanist event. He is the only man that I would
have gone out with in that crowd. Why? Because I sensed a quality that was
unique amongst the crowd. The difference I found was that I favored men
who have a sense compassion and integrity, and who place these ideas at the
top of their list.
I'm not saying that these qualities - honesty, compassion, and integrity -
are missing amongst transhumanist. I am saying that we tend to hide these
qualities, as if they re not as important or as professionally beneficial
as intelligence and making a presence in the transhumanist community.
Where someone may write a paper that we all love to talk about, or where
someone may coin a word or phrase that we all thing is just terrific, or
where someone may come up with a new organization that will do things just
a little differently and we all think this is just great -- I have believe
there is a lack of interest in pursuing human dignity as a values that
should be right up there at the top of our priority list in principle and
in action.
When we consider the avenues for finding someone we feel in sync with, it
is essential to think about what our life mission is and what we want to
reflect to ourselves and the world in our relationship. It doesn't matter
if you, as an extropian transhumanist, or a transhumanist, find a partner
who loves astronomy and space exploration as much as you do, but he or she
does not have an affinity for other aspects of transhumanist interests.
What does matter is that you feel a trust in your partner that you can
depend upon and that has your best interests in mind.
>Question 1: Have you or anybody you know met their current or past partner
in the online and offline Extropian/Transhumanist community?<
Yes. Yes.
>Question 2: Did the relationship persist, and do you think the means of
contact made a significant difference to other fora/legacy means?<
Yes. Yes.
Natasha
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