From: Lee Corbin (lcorbin@tsoft.com)
Date: Sat Jun 08 2002 - 15:19:06 MDT
Sylvia writes
> while i was doing this, a lady from the other side of the fence
> criticised me, and said that she was native and was against plants being
> slaughtered for no reason, that the plants were beautiful and i should
> not cut them. i was not very nice about it. i pronounced loudly and
> with conviction "My GRANDMOTHER told me to do this.".
>
> i still have this niggling aweful feeling that i made a huge mistake
> somehow but i am not sure how.
First, whether or not you made a mistake cannot be answered
in the abstract, but ultimately depends on your own values.
It may be that what you did will never feel right according
to some of your unarticulated values.
But as some ideas that I'd suggest, (1) your phrase "My GRANDMOTHER
told me to do this" did not challenge the beliefs of your neighbor,
and many people see that as a plus, even as a form of politeness.
So you are certainly guilty of nothing on that score, insofar as
most people would score it.
(2) Some people believe that it's morally wrong to affect the
lives of other living creatures without their consent, but
probably even more of us view plants as expendable. If you
actually sympathize with your neighbor's views, then I guess
you will continue to feel guilty. But if you don't, then
rest assured that most people feel the way that you do, and
so perhaps there is nothing for you to feel bad about in this
way either.
(3) As for the propriety of killing the vines that had crossed
into your Grandmother's yard, our laws suggest that most people
would think you and your Grandmother should feel free to cut
the plants. As to whether "Law is the Great Teacher" or not---
a very difficult subject---maybe we can go there another time.
Moreover, quite a few of us suggest that it's best for people
to do with their property as they will. So this may be an
additional reason for you to feel all right about what you said
and did.
(4) As for your feelings about snapping at the woman, yes, it's
an ideal for us not to get angry, even when transgressed against.
(But that's only an ideal, and hardly anyone can live up to it.)
More importantly, in a real sense she "started" it. Very likely,
were a number of people there, they would have judged that it
would probably have been best for her to mind her own business.
Although if she said it in a friendly enough way, most of us
would not have a problem with it. But I guess from your reaction
that it wasn't so friendly, but in fact patronizing.
Summarizing, you possibly will conclude that on no account did
you do anything wrong, unless it happens to be true that you
don't think plants should be killed. As for my own values, I,
for one, don't think you did anything whatsoever wrong.
Certainly, you did NOT make any huge mistake, as you
feared! :-)
Take care,
Lee
P.S. Hope that the schizophenia isn't hurting too much right now.
> in the same vein as the money-desk question, I would like to ask what
> I should have done in the following situation, or what the whole thing
> means in the first place:
>
> i was living in my grandmothers house, trying to learn about her and be
> in her place. i love my grandmother and feel loyal to her. she taught
> me about her garden, which she had tended for many years, and then she
> pretty much stopped tending it but watched it acutely and understood it
> more.
>
> for example, she used to plant beans. she really liked to eat them.
> but most years, bunny rabbits would come and eat the seedlings soon
> after they sprouted, and she would have fewer beans. she did not mind,
> she said the bunnies have to eat too. she did not want unnecessary
> fences, and the ones she had let the light through.
>
> she used to spend a lot of time tending the garden, planting certain
> things in certain places, but by the time she was so old she couldn't
> work in it any more, it was more or less to a harmonious point where the
> stuff just grew by itself, seeded itself, regulated itself. it was very
> beautiful, although rather messy. she used to put old license plates in
> the ground to keep certain types of roots that were too aggressive from
> making new sprouts in too many places, and she planted garlic with the
> roses, for bugs or something.
>
> there were two problems. one, neither of us could adequately explain to
> my dad that he should STOP putting weed spray on where he thought grass
> should be. this was entirely due to broken cultural artifacts. the
> rain drained to one low patch at the back of the garden, and all the bad
> chemicals went there, where not much grew and what was there was
> scraggly. my grandmother an i referred to this as "the dead place".
>
> the other problem was the vines that grew on the wire fence at the back
> of the garden. they were zealous and hardy, and everywhere. they were
> VERY pretty, but tended to take over and choke other plants. the vines
> curled around the lilacs like pythons. the vines skated across
> flower/weed beds so floridly and obnoxiously that other things became
> weak. so she asked me to cut back the vines on the fence. so i did.
>
> while i was doing this, a lady from the other side of the fence
> criticised me, and said that she was native and was against plants being
> slaughtered for no reason, that the plants were beautiful and i should
> not cut them. i was not very nice about it. i pronounced loudly and
> with conviction "My GRANDMOTHER told me to do this.".
>
> i still have this niggling aweful feeling that i made a huge mistake
> somehow but i am not sure how.
>
> ?
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