Re: Toddler learning

From: Mike Lorrey (mlorrey@datamann.com)
Date: Sun May 19 2002 - 17:01:34 MDT


"Eliezer S. Yudkowsky" wrote:
>
> Dossy wrote:
> >
> > Children and people in general must do the things they
> > are obligated to do because we're responsible for them.
> > Not because we're merely paid to do them. When my
> > daughter is old enough to take out the trash, I expect
> > her to do it because it's her duty and responsibility
> > as her part of the family, not because she's earning
> > an allowance.
>
> Woohoo! Someone has *totally forgotten* their childhood! Okay, try this
> one on for size: Some faraway adults you have no influence on decide,
> without consulting you, based on rules and logic into which you have no
> input, that you have a "responsibility" and "duty" to do something. This is
> called "getting no respect". It is why *you* now have a job instead of
> living with your parents. You can argue with your children about the cash
> value of regular meals when they turn 13. Meanwhile, pay up, because having
> "responsibilities" over which you have no control, and for which you receive
> no compensation *that you control*, may easily put your kids off the concept
> of responsibility entirely. Responsibilities and duties are something that
> you choose for yourself. Not an imposition from outside.

Eli's entirely right. I certainly didn't volunteer to be hired by my
parents to do THEIR chores for them, I didn't choose to belong to this
family, and if given I choice, I'd rather pack up my teddy, my blankie,
and a few favorite comic books (all the really necessary survival items)
and head out to make my own way in the world. If Huck Finn could do it
with a knife, a raft, and a good side kick, I sure can...

Dossy, your kids don't do chores because its their duty, or their
responsibility. They do the chores to learn the most important lesson in
life: that life isn't fair. It's the assholes who are bigger, louder,
and have more money than you who make the rules, and no matter how much
they try to be your buddy and claim that we're all equal and democratic,
ultimately its the biggest and loudest and richest person who makes all
the real important decisions, and until your kids are that person in
whatever arena they choose to live in, they need to learn that that is
the way it is. The biggest/loudest/richest person is in ultimate charge
because of evolution, and evolution doesn't give a rats red ass about
individuals.



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