From: Samantha Atkins (samantha@objectent.com)
Date: Sun May 12 2002 - 04:52:30 MDT
Lee Corbin wrote:
> Hi Samantha, thanks for the narrative by way of giving examples of
> how horrible child abuse can be. There's no denying that you and
> your siblings needed a lot of help that your community (nowadays
> we say "society) should have provided.
>
>
>>have been much worse. When I got away my best friends family
>>took me in because they do were afraid that my father would
>>seriously harm me.
>>
>
> Well, I spoke a little hastily: your community did offer some
> support, but there sure could have been more.
>
> Again, I only think that diminutions of legal freedoms are not
> the best answer, for reasons I gave.
Well, I don't think there is any such thing as a legal freedom
to physically, emotionally and otherwise abuse children. So I
don't see any dimunition of a true legal freedom as being involved.
>There are many other ways,
> e.g., other parts of the community including friends and family.
> The trouble with that from your perspective is probably that
> it isn't certain that they'll be able to "solve" the problem.
>
To the outside world my father was all meek and mild. In his
"castle" he was an ill-tempered tyrant. It was pounded into us
that we didn't air the "family laundry" outside. I broke that
rule thankfully, but not nearly enough to get as much help as
should have been there for myself and my siblings. I didn't
know enough. Besides friend I told my grandfather. He tried to
talk to my dad but to little avail. I also ended up living with
him for a while when I left home.
> Well, neither is it certain that the sheriff and the laws will
> "solve" it either. Even today, despite uncountably many laws,
> a great deal of abuse still occurs.
>
Yes. But if I had known there was somewhere to go to stop this
I probably would have. It is hard to say because my father
wasn't all bad. I may have felt guilty and too afraid for what
would come of all of us and whether we would be together if he
was stopped. I do remember thinking about such things when I
was very young.
When you grow up in something like this and don't talk to other
kids and other people generally about it, then as a kid it takes
a while to understand that your parent is sick and that other
families are different.
Now, I have known others, some of them good friends of mine, who
have had their kids taken away on suspicion practically. This
is certainly also wrong.
>
>>You'll get no support from me for theoretical arguments that
>>child abuse laws are inherently wrong. I will agree that some
>>of them go much too far and the practices of the authorities in
>>such matters today is sometimes disgraceful when it resembles a
>>witch hunt.
>>
>
> I understand. And we do agree that today's laws in fact also
> help create problems. Until the "authorities" become more
> saintly, those witch hunts will be proportional to the legal
> power they have.
>
True, but perhaps the number of kids saved from bad situations
will also be proportional. I didn't want my father necessarily
put away. I very often wanted to be in a better home although I
loved my mother and my siblings (despite our many fights). Most
of all I wish that my father and others like him could get
effective therapy and counseling.
- samantha
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