From: Steve Davies (steve365@btinternet.com)
Date: Mon Jun 11 2001 - 11:33:53 MDT
I don't know if anyone is familiar with this but having got it this morning
I thought it might amuse some of you. Steve D
-----Original Message-----
From: Dr Chris R. Tame <chris@rand.demon.co.uk>
Date: 11 June 2001 09:11
Subject: HUMOUR: Bread: The Truth!
>>
>>Thanks to the Konformist <http://www.konformist.com> :
>>
>
>>>THE DANGERS OF BREAD...
>>>
>>>More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. Fully 50%
>>>of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below
>>>average on standardized tests.
>>>
>>>In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home,
>>>the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality
>>>rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and
>>>diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole
>>>nations. Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death.
>>>Bread is associated with all the major diseases of the body. For
>>>example, nearly all sick people have eaten bread. The effects are
>>>obviously cumulative:
>>>
>>>a. 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten bread.
>>>
>>>b. 100% of all soldiers have eaten bread.
>>>
>>>c. 96.9% of all Communist sympathizers have eaten bread.
>>>
>>>d. 99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate bread
>>>within 6 months preceding the accident.
>>>
>>>e. 93.1% of juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread is
>>>served frequently.
>>>
>>>Evidence points to the long-term effects of bread eating: Of all the
>>>people born in 1839 who later dined on bread, there has been a 100%
>>>mortality rate. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has
>>>been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to
>>>suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in
>>>one month! Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a
>>>low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and
>>>osteoporosis. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects
>>>deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after
>>>as little as two days. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading
>>>the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and
>>>even cold cuts. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the
>>>human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating
>>>bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive
>>>food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
>>>
>>>Newborn babies can choke on bread. Bread is baked at temperatures as
>>>high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult
>>>in less than one minute. Increased temperatures cause global warming.
>>>
>>>Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between serious
>>>significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical political
>>>babbling.
>>>
>>
>
>--
>Dr. Chris R. Tame, Director
>Libertarian Alliance | "The secret of Happiness is Freedom, |
>25 Chapter Chambers | and the secret of Freedom is Courage" |
>Esterbrooke Street | Thucydides, Pericles' Funeral Oration |
>London SW1P 4NN
>England
>Tel: 020 7821 5502
>Fax: 020 7834 2031
>Email: chris@rand.demon.co.uk
>LA Web Site: http://www.libertarian-alliance.com/
>Free Life Web Site: http://www.whig.org.uk
>
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