From: Amara Graps (amara@amara.com)
Date: Mon Nov 27 2000 - 17:08:07 MST
Hi Extropes
I was cleaning up some files on my hard disk, and I ran across the
following file, written by an acquaintence many years ago. Since
I was thinking of the whole "None of the Above" voting procedure
recently, I thought I'd post it for fun.
It is still appropriate after all of these years, wouldn't you say?
(even if the tone is a bit.. uhmm.. biting .. so then tongue-in-cheek humor)
Amara
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
X X
X VOTE FOR /
X
X ______/_
X
X | / | X
X NONE OF THE ABOVE | \ / | X
X | \/ | X
X |________| X
X X
X IN '92!! X
X X
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
| (Not) Paid for by the Campaign for a Free Amerika |
| |
| |
| |
| POLITFEST '92:
|
| |
| Where do the Candidates Stand on the Issues? |
| |
| |
| Issue Bush/Quayle Clinton/Gore None Of/The Above |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Taxes: Taxes are good. Taxes are great! No Taxes. Ever. |
| |
| Defense: Whoever dies with The military is a A .44 in every |
| the most aircraft good way to give holster. Learn |
| carriers wins. stupid people jobs. to use it. |
| [And it keeps the |
| rest of you in line.] |
| |
| Foreign |
| Policy: Take whatever we Give whatever we It's none of our |
| can from those can to anyone who damn business. |
| with fewer wants it. |
| aircraft carriers [Otherwise we might
|
| than ourselves. spend it here.] |
| |
| Welfare: Work or starve. Gee, we can make Charity is an |
| [Unless we can a buck from this individual choice. |
| make a buck too, can't we? Otherwise, work |
| feeding you.] or starve. |
| |
| Gun |
| Control: A .44 in every Only police and Use both hands. |
| holster! criminals should [You get better |
| [Unless, of have guns. aim.] |
| course, you [Or is that |
| ever use it.] redundant?] |
| |
| Education: Stupid people We should force You get what you |
| make better people to learn pay for. You pay |
| slaves. absolutely for what you get. |
| nothing. |
| [And make them |
| pay dearly for it!] |
| |
| |
| Crime: More police and Without crime, we Not bloody likely. |
| more crooks wouldn't need [see Defense.] |
| makes more money. police or lawyers. |
| [For us. And it [Perhaps we should |
| keeps the rest of prosecute the victims, |
| you in line.] too.] |
| |
| |
| |
| The Cleaning the Pretending to clean If you pollute, |
| Environment: world is bad the world is good choke on it. |
| for business. [for my wallet]. |
| |
| |
| Drugs: Well, the Commies Illegal drugs create Eat, smoke, shoot |
| are gone, so we jobs for minorities, whatever you want. |
| have to fight work for the police, If you croak, |
| someone. and lots of $$ for tough shit. |
| me. |
| |
| Health Only the rich It's the duty of Kill all the |
| Care: should survive. everyone to pay insurance |
| [Darwin said that, for someone else's salesmen and |
| right?] health care. lawyers, and |
| health care |
| would be cheap. |
| |
| |
| Abortion: A fetus in Gee, if I say yes, It's your body |
| every womb! the god-mongers and life, do with |
| [Unless it's won't vote for me. it what you will. |
| mine, that is.] |
| |
| |
| Minorities: Better dead Minorities are our If you can think, |
| than a best source of therefore you |
| homosexual, income. are. |
| black, Mexican, |
| or woman. |
| |
| The Elderly: Congressmen The elderly have If we didn't tax |
| are old, and given us a lot the hell out of |
| so am I, so of money during people, maybe they |
| we should take their lives. could save some |
| good care of [Maybe we can money. |
| them. get a little more |
| [Everyone else from them before |
| can go to hell, they die.] |
| however.] |
| |
| |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
********************************************************************
Amara Graps email: amara@amara.com
Computational Physics vita: finger agraps@shell5.ba.best.com
Multiplex Answers URL: http://www.amara.com/
********************************************************************
"Sometimes I think I understand everything. Then I regain
consciousness." --Ashleigh Brilliant
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