From: CYMM (cymm@trinidad.net)
Date: Thu Jul 06 2000 - 18:36:54 MDT
In respect of the matter of synesthesia; alternative modalities of
sensory-cognitive functioning....
When i was in mid-adolescence and beginning my love affair with the mind; I
was somewhat preoccupied with the ideas of Laing.
So I set about at age 15 to induce & train the hallucinatory modalities. I
started via the hypnagogic & hypnopompic states that border sleep.
Within 3 weeks I could induce such states ...and cultivate auditory & visual
hallucinations while awake but relaxed. Extremely lucid dreaming came my
way... if I were religious... I could well imagine that my experiences might
compare in depth with Joan of Arc's or the Fatima trio.
The pressures of studies & growing up into an extremely harassing adult
world put my experiments to rest... but I found that I couldn't shake the
"hallucinations".
They became a totally voluntary part of my mentality. When I took up music;
the notes had shape & colour and texture... my sleep-dreams were enriched...
and of course, I started perceiving the auras; tunnels and out-of-body
experiences that LSD users; Near Death survivors; and my African;
Amerinidian; and Hindu mystic friends told me about so much later...
I've run into lots of bona fide formally diagnosed schizophrenics and have
had very interesting conversations with them. The chief difference between
us, I think, is that I integrate my experiences into my personality; yet
such experiences do not dominate or persuade me in any way... it's like
lucid dreaming while awake. I maintain perspective.
Even though I am a mathphobe at heart (...and proudly manipulate symbols,
deliberately refraining from visualization - which I think is a trap
here...) I find that with certain kinds of math... especially dynamics in a
system space... I seem to get an intuitive visual idea that facilitates
mathematical creativity in problem setup.
Lastly, when I was thirtysomething... I was hit by leptosporosis... it was a
bit misdiagnosed and I felt the full brunt of the fevers with
hallucinations.
In three weeks I endured literal lifetimes...suffered fabulous places and
landscapes; and terror & fascination like I have never experience since. All
I prayed for was to exit those runaway universes... preferably by
recovery... but perhaps also via death.
I got my first wish... but came awfully close to having the second
fulfilled.
The synesthetic modality and the hallucinatory one are related - probably
somewhere deep in the temporal cortex... but once it is awoken and trained
it marks you for life.
cymm
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