[p2p-research] Intelligent People Have "Unnatural" Preferences And Values That Are Novel In...

[Michel Bauwens]

>
>
> > Personally, I think being alone sucks, marriage sucks, and free love
> sucks,
> > I've tried all of them, they all have their advantages and disadvantages.
> > But when it works, a single long lasting relationship is about the best
> > there is. A person is infinite, and when the love and the committment
> > remains, the poly actually diminishes the full experience and synergy
> with
> > the other,
>
> Do you mean "finite"?
>

I mean infinite, you cannot exhaust a relationship with a singular human
person (you can of course, but it's not inherent in the relationship ...
it's because the dyads changed in some incompatible ways)

>
> > The family is still also one of the few remaining mechanisms of true
> social
> > solidarity .. when you're really really in trouble, you will see that
> > neither friends nor the state can be fully relied on, but the family,
> mostly
> > always ...
>
> This sounds like a rather privileged perspective that many in severely
> dysfunctional families, migrants or others not within the norm could
> only dream of.
>

which kinds of proves the point I was bringing up doesn't it ..

>
>
>
> Do you think that the complicated nature of emotional realities arises
> because someone acts outside of monogamy per se, or because they act
> outside the norm (which happens to be monogamy) in a realm where there
> are virtually no role models, no support and, in general, a high degree
> of envy, jealousy, stigma and so directed from those inside the
> oppressive norms toward those acting outside of that norm?
>
>
Having lift in a free love commune for 3 years, I would say that it does not
only arise from external pressures, which were in fact non-existent, (but of
course people internatlize certain norms even as they want to leave them),
but I would argue that some issues arise out of the dynamics of  the
situation itself ... typically, in such a situation alpha males get most of
the girls, which creates unhappiness with the females wishing a privileged
relationship, and with the beta males who don't get the girls .. Some
communes of course sought solutions in regulating the relationships (forcing
people to change partners on a regular basis for example), but that in turn
creates other issues.

I'm not saying don't do that, I'm just saying that freely chosen serial
monogamy avoids some of these issues and is therefore a legitimate choice,
not a cultural obligation.




> Social change will never come easy, but reverting to the norm on the
> basis of "it functioning best" is not really an argument for anything,
> but rather expressive of stagnation.
>
> At the end of the day, some people will naturally-socially prefer one
> mode of relationships, or a mixture of modes, while others will prefer
> others. At the moment, there are seemingly only two that are acceptable:
> monogamy or single. How can the menu of options be enlarged?
>
>

I don't know why you are saying that, what prohibits you from living a
poly-amorous life? there are more communes now than in the sixties, and the
poly-amory movement seems quite energetic in the U.S. for example. To whom
would that be unacceptable? Just do it,

Michel




> -m
>
> _______________________________________________
> p2presearch mailing list
> p2presearch at listcultures.org
> http://listcultures.org/mailman/listinfo/p2presearch_listcultures.org
>



-- 
Work: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dhurakij_Pundit_University - Think thank:
http://www.asianforesightinstitute.org/index.php/eng/The-AFI

P2P Foundation: http://p2pfoundation.net  - http://blog.p2pfoundation.net

Connect: http://p2pfoundation.ning.com; Discuss:
http://listcultures.org/mailman/listinfo/p2presearch_listcultures.org

Updates: http://del.icio.us/mbauwens; http://friendfeed.com/mbauwens;
http://twitter.com/mbauwens; http://www.facebook.com/mbauwens
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://listcultures.org/pipermail/p2presearch_listcultures.org/attachments/20100307/27940a3b/attachment.html>