[p2p-research] Intelligent People Have "Unnatural" Preferences And Values That Are Novel In...

[j.martin.pedersen]

I agree to most of this.

On 05/03/10 01:09, Michel Bauwens wrote:
> I personally don't think that the perpetually desire-following ego, without
> regard for committment, long term needs of others such as children, is the
> pinnacle of human development

Did anyone suggest that?

> Personally, I think being alone sucks, marriage sucks, and free love sucks,
> I've tried all of them, they all have their advantages and disadvantages.
> But when it works, a single long lasting relationship is about the best
> there is. A person is infinite, and when the love and the committment
> remains, the poly actually diminishes the full experience and synergy with
> the other,

Do you mean "finite"?

> The family is still also one of the few remaining mechanisms of true social
> solidarity .. when you're really really in trouble, you will see that
> neither friends nor the state can be fully relied on, but the family, mostly
> always ...

This sounds like a rather privileged perspective that many in severely
dysfunctional families, migrants or others not within the norm could
only dream of.

> As for the thought that simple unregulated desire is the way forward ...
> Let's assume that your desire leads to very young persons? You probably will
> agree that there will always be a line somewhere .. So the solution can
> never be a full a-social sexuality

Did anyone suggest that? Could it even exist (outside of amoeba)?
Moreover, "simple unregulated" desire could be a social form, indeed, is
that not pretty much how the market is conceptualised by (neo)liberals?

> Being fully committed and polyamorous at the same time ... good luck to you,
> I've known many that tried, but really just a precious few that succeeded,
> so I don't see that as a credible social solution for the overall majority
> of human beings, who appreciate a full committment, not just because
> authority of guilt, but because of all the complicated emotional realities
> and struggles that are unleashed when this is not the case

Do you think that the complicated nature of emotional realities arises
because someone acts outside of monogamy per se, or because they act
outside the norm (which happens to be monogamy) in a realm where there
are virtually no role models, no support and, in general, a high degree
of envy, jealousy, stigma and so directed from those inside the
oppressive norms toward those acting outside of that norm?

Social change will never come easy, but reverting to the norm on the
basis of "it functioning best" is not really an argument for anything,
but rather expressive of stagnation.

At the end of the day, some people will naturally-socially prefer one
mode of relationships, or a mixture of modes, while others will prefer
others. At the moment, there are seemingly only two that are acceptable:
monogamy or single. How can the menu of options be enlarged?

-m