HUMOR: Research
Enigl@aol.com
Fri, 11 Oct 1996 16:33:16 -0400
RESEARCH DEFINITIONS
The following phrases, frequently found in technical writings, are
defined below for your enlightenment. They are adapted from 'A glossary for
research reports, by C. D. Graham, Jr., which appeared in Metal Progress,
Vol. 71, No. 5, May. 1957. Graham had evidently read too many scientific
papers by the time he composed this clever compilation.
PHRASE
"it has long been known..."
DEFINITION
I haven't bothered to look up the original reference.
PHRASE
"Of great theoretical and practical importance..."
DEFINITION
Interesting to me.
PHRASE
"While it has not been possible to provide definite answears
to these questions..."
DEFINITION
The experiment didn't work out, but I wanted to publish
anyway.
PHRASE
"Extremely high purity"
DEFINITION
Composition unknown except for the exaggerated claims of the
supplier.
PHRASE
"Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study."
DEFINITION
The results on the others didn't make sense and were ignored.
PHRASE
"Accidentally stained during mounting"
DEFINITION
Accidentally dropped on the floor.
PHRASE
"Handled with extreme care during the experiments"
DEFINITION
Not dropped on the floor.
PHRASE
"A fiducial reference line on the specimen"
DEFINITION
A scratch.
PHRASE
"Although some detail have been lost in reproduction, it is
clear from the original micrograph that..."
DEFINITION
It is impossible to tell from the original micrograph.
PHRASE
"Typical results are shown"
DEFINITION
The best results are shown.
PHRASE
"The most reliable data are those Jones..."
DEFINITION
Jones was a student of mine.
PHRASE
Agreement with the predicted curve is excellent."
DEFINITION
Fair.
PHRASE
"...good."
DEFINITION
Poor.
PHRASE
"...satisfactory."
DEFINITION
Doubtful.
PHRASE
"...fair."
DEFINITION
Imaginary.
PHRASE
"Correct within an order of magnitude"
DEFINITION
Wrong.
PHRASE
"It is believed that..."
DEFINITION
I think...
PHRASE
"It is generally believed that..."
DEFINITION
A couple of other guys think so too.
PHRASE
"It might be argued that..."
DEFINITION
I have such a good answer for this objection that I shall now
raise it.
PHRASE
"It is clear that much additional work will be required for a
complete understanding of..."
DEFINITION
I didn't understand it.
PHRASE
"Thanks to Joe Glotz for assistance with the experiment, and
to John Doe for valuable discussions."
DEFINITION
Glotz did the work and Doe explained what it meant to me.
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