Barbara Lamar wrote:
>
> Another good thing about email is that the potential exists to avoid
> being identified as a particular sex. Many women I've talked to (in
> fact, I believe every woman I've ever talked to about this has had this
> experience) have reported the following sort ot thing:
>
> A woman's in a group, say, a business related meeting. She makes a
> suggestion or states an opinion. Everyone pretty much ignores what she
> said--maybe they look at her briefly and say "Uh huh," but that's about
> it.
>
> A few minutes later one of the male participants makes the same
> suggestion or states the same opinion as the woman did earlier.
> Everyone's very interested, they all get excited, ask questions, etc.
>
> I have a transgendered friend who says that when she was a man she
> worked on cars quite a bit. Recently she was riding in a shuttle van
> when the air conditioning compressor began making a loud noise. The van
> driver pulled over and sat in the sweltering heat until another van could
> come and pick everyone up. No one would pay the slightest attention to
> my friend when she tried to tell them it was just the air conditioning
> compressor and that if they'd turn off the a/c and open the windows they
> could continue to their destination. She says that in becoming female
> she automatically lost at least 50 IQ points in the eyes of the world.
>
Ain't that the truth? Although in my business life I am enough of a
techie goddess that I usually (ever so sweetly) make whichever guys
ignored me quite sorry when they find that the many of the solutions out
of whatever software mess they are in hinge on things I suggested and/or
have implemented. After a while they loose the dismissive attitude.
Lately I've become much better at picking companies that expect large
things from me from the get-go and at comparative large enough
compensation that they don't dare simply ignore me. :-)
Even then it can be a challenge.
I understand where your friend is coming from as I myself "made the
change" about 10 years ago. Although I prefer the term transsexual over
"transgendered" since the latter is an umbrella term covering a lot more
variety of folks than just those of us who seem to have been programmed
during fetal development with bodies going one way and minds gendered in
the other and actually get around to correcting the situation. Being TS
on top of the stuff women generally go through in business is quite a
trip to get used to. I remember the first design meeting I attended as
myself. I couldn't believe that these were the same bunch of guys I had
been working with for 2 years. Were all those strange ego trips there
all along and I didn't notice? Was it always that hard to get a word in
edgewise? It has taken a over half of those ten years to get back to
being fully listened to and being at full power again in my career. But
the price was worth it many times over.
So now you know just a bit more about me. Often, while I have nothing
to be ashamed of, I don't mention that part of my history simply because
most people haven't much of a clue what that is and is not about.
Images from Jerry Springer or some such nonsense dance through their
heads. Or they think in dozens of stereotypes and think that I must fit
in some or most of them. Which of course I mostly don't. Or they see
it as a <gag me> "lifestyle choice". Increasingly I believe the only
way to counteract the lack of understanding and the stereotypes is for
more real people who are TS to simply be open. So howdy. Pleased to
meet you.
- samantha
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Mon Oct 02 2000 - 17:38:28 MDT