From: Smigrodzki, Rafal (SmigrodzkiR@msx.upmc.edu)
Date: Thu Feb 07 2002 - 09:28:12 MST
A POLISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Each one is worried that the other one might get a better
milk output, so she keeps kicking the other one's milk pail. All milk goes
to waste. And then the farmer asks them to screw in lightbulbs, 'cause he
doesn't know how.
-----Original Message-----
From: Miriam English [mailto:miriam@werple.net.au]
Sent: Thursday, February 07, 2002 7:50 AM
To: extropians@extropy.org
Subject: Re: cows again
Darn, there isn't an Australian one... so I'll relate the sitch here:
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You send one to a distant Pacific island and place the
other in a razor-wire-fenced detention center. You refuse to let anyone in
to milk it and then complain that we need to import milk at such high
prices.
At 03:52 PM 05/02/2002, Spike Jones wrote:
>Do indulge me in a bit of cow humor. Someone sent these to
>me, I added only the one about the extropians. {8-] spike
>
>Subject: Fw: Fwd: Fw: Corporate cows
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
> milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size
> of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create
> clever cow cartoon images called cowkimon and market them
> World-Wide.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years,
> eat once a month, and milk themselves.
>
> An EXTROPIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You read their DNA and figure out a way to
> create lean beef directly in a vat. You upload your cows. You debate
>
> endlessly on what to do with the originals cows, which are still alive
>
> and well, and are demanding bovine rights.
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION
> You have two cows. Both are mad.
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
> lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
> count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again
> and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
> bottle of vodka.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION
> You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others
> for storing them.
>
> AN INDIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You worship them.
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
> employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who
> reported the numbers.
>
> AN ISRAELI CORPORATION
> So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk
> factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send
>their
> calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
>
> AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION
> You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...
---------=---------=---------=---------=---------=---------=------
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
---------=---------=---------=---------=---------=---------=------
http://werple.net.au/~miriam
http://members.optushome.com.au/miriame
Virtual Reality Association http://www.vr.org.au
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