HUMOR: Clever Comebacks for Flame Wars

From: Scott Badger (wbadger@psyberlink.net)
Date: Tue Jun 01 1999 - 12:23:05 MDT


I've noticed that many of those engaged in the the gun debates could have
used some catchy phrases to more completely decimate their opponents'
arguments.

Here are some clever comebacks to hurl at your antagonists. Hope they come
in handy.

Enjoy,

Scott Badger

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*
1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique
      point of view.

2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard
     to pronounce.

4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.

6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

13. No, my powers can only be used for good.

14. How about never? Is never good for you?

15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn
       to worship me.

16. You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.

17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level
       I'm really quite busy.

23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

25. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself
       in public.

26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously
       and change the subject



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