Humor: New Element Discovered

From: Mike Cowar. (mikec@jax.gulfnet.com)
Date: Thu Feb 06 1997 - 22:59:27 MST


From: Advocates for Self-Government <advo@best.com>
Subject: Liberator OnLine, Vol. 2, No. 3
Date: Wed, 5 Feb 1997 09:22:08 -0800 (PST)
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                             THE LIBERATOR ONLINE
                                       
   February 5, 1997
   Vol. 2, No. 3
   Circulation: 3,470 in 47 countries
   
   Mailing list of the Advocates for Self-Government.
   
   The Advocates for Self-Government is a non-profit educational
   organization. Our purpose is to present the freedom philosophy
   honestly and persuasively to opinion-makers so that they can
   encounter, evaluate, and when ready, embrace the ideals of
   self-government. Contributions are tax deductible under Section
   501(c)(3) of the IRS code.

New Element Discovered

   The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by
   physicists. The element, tentatively named Bureaucratonium, has no
   protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it
   does have
   
   1 neutron
   125 assistant neutrons
   75 vice neutrons
   111 assistant vice neutrons
   
   This gives it an atomic mass of 312. The 312 particles are held
   together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of
   meson-like particles called morons.
   
   Since it has no electrons, Bureaucratonium is inert. However it can be
   detected chemically as it impedes every action with which it comes in
   contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of
   Bureaucratonium caused one reaction to take four days to complete when
   it would have normally occurred in less than one second.
   
   Bureaucratonium has a normal half-life of approximately three years,
   at which time it does not actually decay but instead undergoes a
   reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and
   assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that
   atomic mass actually increases after each reorganization.
   
   Research at other laboratories indicates that Bureaucratonium occurs
   naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points
   such as government agencies, large Internet Service Providers, large
   corporations and universities and can usually be found in the newest,
   best appointed and best maintained buildings.
   
   Scientists point out that Bureaucratonium is known to be toxic at any
   level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction
   where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to
   determine how Bureaucratonium can be controlled to prevent
   irreversible damage, but results to-date are not promising.
   
   * * *
   
   Thanks, Martin, for sending that in!



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