From: spike66 (spike66@attbi.com)
Date: Thu Nov 21 2002 - 21:07:07 MST
> Spike wrote:
> Segway Barbie? Better yet, two drunken segway Barbies,
> struggling to pull each other into the muddy cole slaw pit. {8^D
I contacted the president of the Segway Owners Group,
Ginger Itt. She was enthusiastic about my proposed
Extreme Segway Olympiad, in all areas except one. She
objected to the notion of drunken bikini-clad segway-
riding contestants struggling to pull each other into
a revolting gak pit filled with mashed potatoes and
spinach linguini. However she cheerfully accepted my
counter suggestion that we use male computer geeks.
We agreed that it would have terrific appeal to society's
lowest common denominator (that would be me) to watch
contestants fall into a revolting gak pit filled with
lonely techno-nerds, whose function it would be to
lasciviously fondle and grope the unfortunate drunken
lovelies. It would be like a modern version of the
ancient Roman spectator games of battling gladiators
and throwing Christians to the lions: just as tasteless
but far more legal.
Furthermore the tickets to the gak pit could be auctioned
to the highest-bidding nerds. Bids would go higher
than the price of a seat on the New York Stock Exchange,
or the 50 yard line at the superbowl. Profits would exceed
the GNP of many third world nations, such as Tanu Tuva and
France.
Of course we need to work out the problem that the desperate
gak pit boys would grab the bungee cord and reel in both
contestants. Secondly, in any group of geeks that size,
there is bound to be one or more technosexuals, who would
ignore the girls and engage in a drooling molestfest on the
segways.
{Note to citizens of Tanu Tuva: kidding, bygones.}
spike
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