From: Amara Graps (amara@amara.com)
Date: Wed Aug 14 2002 - 15:48:14 MDT
How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
http://www.rawilson.com/jokes.html
Robert Anton Wilson Jokes
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3) Insist that your e mail address is:
Xena-Warrior-Princess@Uwillnotwin.com ....or
Elvis-the-King@iseedeadpeople.com
4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that.
5) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
6) Pretend an unnatural fear of staplers.
7) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
8) In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS".
9) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
10) Don't use any punctuation
11) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
12) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
13) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
14) Sing along at the opera.
15) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
16) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle
sounds all day.
17) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.
18) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
19) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream"I Won!", "I Won!" 3rd
time this week!!!"
20) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling
"Run for your lives, they're loose!"
21) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go."
22) Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent
it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....
23. Just remember every day that George W. Bush is president.
-- ******************************************************************** Amara Graps, PhD email: amara@amara.com Computational Physics vita: ftp://ftp.amara.com/pub/resume.txt Multiplex Answers URL: http://www.amara.com/ ******************************************************************** "I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal." --Calvin
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