From: Amara Graps (amara@amara.com)
Date: Fri Jul 26 2002 - 16:41:20 MDT
Rafal Smigrodzki
>### I claim something else - recruiting grandmothers (especially other
>that their own kin) is too dangerous for a tribal or denominational
>terrorist organization to do. Newspaper ads won't do here. Grandmas
>usually do not have the seething emotions and poorly developed
>prefrontal cortex of a violent male.
http://www.lewrockwell.com/wallace/wallace42.html
Grandma Beats Up Airport Security Guards
by Bob Wallace
Charges were dropped yesterday against Ruth "Grammy" Gordon, an
83-year-old wheelchair-bound grandmother, who was originally charged
with assault and battery, and assault with a deadly weapon, because an
altercation she had last week with six airport security guards, that
left all six hospitalized.
"Justice has been served," said the 95-pound mother of three and
grandmother of six, as she sat in her wheelchair, aided in her breathing
by an oxygen bottle. "Now I'm going to sue every fool in the federal
government for ignorance, stupidity, and just plain general
incompetence. I'm an American, and I won't be treated like this."
The problem began last month as Gordon was attempting to board an
airplane. "These guys are supposed to be some kind of professionals,"
she said, "but they're dumber than rocks. Here they were letting guys
who looked just like terrorists walk through without searching them, and
then they pull me aside and tell me they're going to search me? I don't
think so."
According to one witness, Bud Cort of Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, one guard,
"who weighed about 300 pounds, looked like he was drunk, and had his
shirt out, told this woman she couldn't board the plane unless they
searched her. He was really rude. That's when the trouble started."
Videotapes showed that Gordon ran the guard down with her motorized
wheelchair, then sat on top of the screaming man while spinning her
chair in circles. "Doofus was so fat he couldn't get up," said Gordon
with a giggle.
One guard who attempted to pull Gordon's wheelchair off of the screaming
man from behind was hit over the head with an oxygen bottle and knocked
unconscious. A third guard, who approached Gordon from the front, was
also left dazed on the floor. Witnesses said she was cackling, "Put your
hands on an old lady, will you?" as she bashed both guards.
The tape also showed a fourth guard attempting to grab Gordon's
wheelchair. Gordon removed a knitting needle from her purse and stabbed
him in his left buttock. "What a wimp," she told reporters. "He started
screaming and grabbing his butt and running like a puppy that someone
kicked."
"It was amazing," said another witness, Scott Ryan, also of Cuyahoga
Falls, a professor of music at Ohio Express University and author of
Yusef Islam: Cat Stevens Declawed. "The whole crowd just stood there
cheering and clapping. I mean, she was whupping butt."
A fifth guard that attempted to grab Gordon had the seat of his pants
set on fire with a cigarette lighter than had escaped detection. "He
just went whoosh across the concourse, screaming and slapping at all
these flames flying out of his rear," said Ryan.
A sixth guard did finally manage to get Gordon in a body hug. "I think
that was the wrong thing to do," said another witness, who declined to
be identified. "She just grabbed him by his greasy hair with one hand
and cracked him across the jaw with her skinny fist. And down and out he
went."
After all this, Gordon's chair was still sitting on top of the first
guard. The tapes clearly showed her leaning over and yelling, "Apologize
to me, you fat sumbitch, or when I'm done with you you'll just be a
greasy spot on the floor!"
As the crowd roared, the guard cried, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Uncle! I
won't do it again!"
Finally, Gordon surrendered without further incident, and was taken to
jail and released on her own recognizance. "We didn't have any choice,"
said an unidentified officer of the court. "Over 200 people showed up to
support her. I think if we had demanded bail, there would have been a
riot."
Over 20 lawyers offered to defend her for free. However, realizing the
precariousness of the case, Gordon was not charged with anything. "I
doubt there's a jury in the whole country that would have found her
guilty of anything," said one of the lawyers.
"I'm flying again tomorrow," Gordon told reporters. "And I suggest no
one at the airport so much as look at me wrong."
May 27, 2002
Bob Wallace [send him mail], a former newspaper
reporter and editor, and an incurable lover of puns,
lives in St. Louis.
Copyright © 2002 LewRockwell.com
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