From: Damien Broderick (d.broderick@english.unimelb.edu.au)
Date: Sun Jul 21 2002 - 23:33:12 MDT
I awoke sweating from a terrible nightmare. I'd dreamed that those
unprincipled rascals from The Onion had gotten on to the Ted Williams
story, and were showing it no mercy. The headlines alone made me shudder.
Don't Cryo for Me, Argentina!
Long-suppressed rumors were confirmed today: Eva Peron, the musical savior
of her nation, rests head-down in cryogenic ice in an unassuming Arizona
city, sharing her vat with Ferdinand Marcos, the Philippines' dictator and
philanthropist. < see more... >
Revenge of the Cro-Babies
In an unusual class-action, 41 frozen embryos today petitioned the Supreme
Court for relief from their frozen condition. Bringing their action through
the firm of Torne, Hernia, Lien, & Snob, the defenseless embryos... < see
more... >
The Spy Who Went Into the Cold
Business ruined by the thaw in the Cold War, British author David John
Moore Cornwell (better known as John Le Carre) has arranged to sleep with
some very cold fishes for a century. `Surely by 2102, this brief period of
world calm will have been seen off,' the wealthy spymeister of thrills &
chills told our... < see more... >
Born-Again Hopes to be Born Again
Countering claims that baseball hero Ted Williams' cryonic freezedown is
`comical', `ghoulish' and even `against the express command of the Lord God
Almighty and His Son Jesus Christ', Alcor's genial head, Dr. Jerry Lemler,
shared copies of his book detailing his search for Noah's Ark. < see more... >
It was awful, but luckily I awoke and found it had all been a dream.
Damien Broderick
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