From: Colin Hales (colin@versalog.com.au)
Date: Sun Jul 07 2002 - 01:22:42 MDT
A quick read.
Another little neural zephyr.
(I know the Bible is a cheap shot as a formal document)
cheers,
Colin
*let us all be stoned for our sins*
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Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses
advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she
said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an
abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned
under any circumstance.
The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US
resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as
well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law.
I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the
homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22
clearly states it to be an abomination. ..... End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the
other specific laws and how to follow them.
1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my
neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them.
Should I smite them?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7.
In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for
her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is
in her period of menstrual cleanliness -Lev.15:19-24.
The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women
take offence.
4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male
and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations.
A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not
Canadians.
Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.
Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality.
I don't agree. Can you settle this?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
have a defect in my sight.
I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision
have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
8.Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the
hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by
Lev.19:27.
How should they die?
9.I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig
makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10.My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made
of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends
to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the
trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? -Lev.24:10-16.
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do
with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am
confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word
is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
Jim
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