From: Damien Broderick (d.broderick@english.unimelb.edu.au)
Date: Fri Jun 21 2002 - 21:42:40 MDT
At 10:40 PM 6/21/02 EDT, Curt wrote:
>conventional
>wisdom has the causality messed up. It's being troubled/
>friendless/ less capable/ etc. that causes (relatively)
>low self-esteem.
Spike's long post ridiculing attempts to avoid all manner of hurts in the
playground looks at first pretty self-evident, but as I think Curt is right
in implying it might not be so *in the real world*.
Recall those experiments where a random bunch of middleclass people are
arbitrarily assigned to contrasting groups--blue scarves versus brown, or
prisoners and jailers--who are given different degrees of power, attributed
attractiveness, etc. It doesn't take long for the out-class people to feel
sick, hopeless, angry, to fall into mulish despair or furious acting-out,
and for the in-class people to strut and impose cruel and unusual
punishments for the sheer joy of infliction and reinforcement that the
exercise of power gave them.
I'd surmise that attempts to iron out *all* differences and opportunities
for physical and psychic harm are foolish and doomed to failure, but it's
certainly true (my own ancient memories of the playground insist) that low
esteem is not necessarily reserved for the klutzes.
Another aspect of this is the odd fact that, for example, forcing oneself
to smile and `whistle a merry tune' actually *does* seem to provoke a
better mood. If six other people are encouraged to smile at you and
exchange a few words (as happens in small villages, I understand),
acknowledging your existence as a fellow human, you'll feel a lot better
about yourself than if they pass you by without a word or a glance. Aging
women report the downside of this effect with peculiar poignancy; having
always been noticed and glanced at and *made real* by the gaze of others,
slowly and then ever more swiftly their self-esteem can be annihilated just
by others ignoring them--no need for any explicit, intentional acts of
unkindness.
As usual, the human unit is a complex critter, and easy gibes seldom
contain the full truth.
Damien Broderick
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