From: Alex Ramonsky (alex@ramonsky.com)
Date: Thu Jun 13 2002 - 00:11:51 MDT
(Spike)
> (Olga)
>
>> Suicide is rampant among gay teens.
>>
> Why do you suppose that is? I have an idea that explains high
> suicide rates in gay teens that is not directly connected with abuse
> by peers.
>
> Thought experiment: do you remember the very first time you
> developed a desperate crush on another person? Of course you
> do; you will remember that when you are a 90 year old Alzheimers
> patient. You might have been about 15 or 16. The hormones were
> slamming against you like waves against the seawall. You were
> beside yourself, were you not? (Jaaaaaa.) You may have learned
> the class schedule of the object of your desire, so you could
> position yourself to watch her pass by. The sound of her voice
> would send chills down your spine, her smile would make your
> day. (Insert he or him, if appropriate to your sitch.)
>
> Nowthen, at some time you may have gotten up the nerve to
> tell her how you felt about her. (That relationship didn't work
> out, did it? Those first ones never do.) If she was a decent
> sort (good chance she was) she kindly and gently let you
> down: "You are such a sweet person, I like you a lot, I really do.
> But you are not *the one* for me, not the one and only. I am
> so sorry, I dont want to hurt you..." etc.
>
> How many of us had such an experience? Most, perhaps.
>
> But what if, when you confessed your feelings, your heart's
> desire reacted with alarm, outrage, disgust, revulsion, total
> disdain, telling you she thought you were lower than dirt?
> If life was this, then pass the sominex bottle and start eating.
This _is_ abuse by peers.
>
>> We all know the gap between the haves and have nots has been widening
>> in the last couple of decades.
>>
>
> Calling it a gap makes it sound like there is no one
> in it. You and I are in that wealth gap. We are neither
> haves or have nots. Most everyone we know are
> neither rich nor poor. The wealth gap is a very
> smooth continuum.
I find this stunning.
As far as I'm concerned, almost everybody in the west is rich. We are
the 'haves'. The gap between us and the have-nots is simple: we are
able to keep ourselves alive in most circumstances. They are not.
Have-nots have no money, no home, no transport, no food, no electricity,
no plumbing, no medical care, no tech. At most they earn a pittance,
build their own homes out of scrap, spend every penny on food. They walk
dozens of kilometres to get food, and if they want water they go to the
well (if there is one, otherwise they catch rainwater). If they get ill,
they rely on herbs or whatever else is free. They suffer young, and die
young.
I lived like this for 11 years in another country (bet you'd never guess
which one!) I've now been in England for three years, and I still really
appreciate clean water coming out of taps, and -oh my!- toilets! And I
live in a nice warm house that I didn't have to build from trees I cut
down, I can flick a switch to get warm instead of spending all day
finding and cutting enough wood to keep my family warm for the night.
I was in stitches reading some of the posts about 'cheap living'.
Westerners have no idea what it means to be a have-not, because they
have not ever been one.
And don't tell me some guy in a village in Africa starving can get out
of that situation by having 'drive' or 'ambition' or working his ass
off, either.
Add an oppressive political regime and policing that rules by abusing
those who step out of line. This is life for a 'has-not'. Rich fat
westerners with blisters on their asses have not the scars of those
who've lived the other way; scars physical, mental and emotional.
Now you know why I'm such a bad-tempered, paranoid old fart. : )
Ramonsky
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