From: Ken Clements (Ken@Innovation-On-Demand.com)
Date: Fri Mar 08 2002 - 15:56:51 MST
A friend sent this to me today, and I thought folks on this list would
enjoy it. Source unknown.
-Ken
> French Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan to Convince
> Taliban of Non-Existence of God
>
> The ground war in Afghanistan heated up yesterday when the Allies
> revealed plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French existentialist
> philosophers into the country to destroy the morale of Taliban
> zealots by proving the non-existence of God.
>
> Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or 'Black Berets',
> will be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, despondency,
> and existential anomie among the enemy. Hardened by numerous
> intellectual battles fought during their long occupation of
> Paris's Left Bank, their first action will be to establish pavement
> cafes at strategic points near the front lines.
>
> There they will drink coffee and talk animatedly about the absurd nature of
> life and man's lonely isolation in the universe. They will be accompanied by
> heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends who will further spread dismay
> by sticking their tongues in the philosophers' ears every five minutes
> and looking remote and unobtainable to everyone else.
>
> Their leader, Colonel Marc-Yves Belmondo, spoke yesterday of his confidence
> in the success of their mission. Sorbonne graduate Belmondo, an intense and
> unshaven young man in a black pullover, gesticulated wildly and said,
> "The Taliban are caught in a logical fallacy of the most ridiculous. There
> is no God and I can prove it. Take your tongue out of my ear, Juliet, I am
> talking."
>
> Marc-Yves plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on man's nauseating
> freedom of action, with special reference to the work of Foucault and
> the films of Jerry Lewis.
>
> However, humanitarian agencies have been quick to condemn the operation
> as inhumane, pointing out that the effects of passive smoking from the
> Frenchmen's' endless Gitanes could wreak a terrible toll on civilians
> in the area.
>
>
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