From: Mike Lorrey (mlorrey@datamann.com)
Date: Fri Sep 21 2001 - 12:15:33 MDT
"J. Hughes" wrote:
>
> TEN PROPOSED NEW LAWS FOR THIS CRISIS:
>
> 1. To buy an American flag, you must present proof
> you have voted at least once in the last three elections
> (yes, local and state elections count).
DOne.
>
> 2. To display an American flag in any form, you must
> present proof of voter registration.
Done
>
> 3. To wave an American flag in public, you must be
> able to name at least one of the following:
> A. Your Senator
> B. Your Representative
> C. Your President ("George Bush" does not count;
> ambiguous)
Done.
>
> 4. To sell any product with an American flag on it,
> you must answer the following question:
> The Bill of Rights is part of: the Constitution; the
> Magna Carta; the Declaration of Independence.
Duh: COnstitution.
>
> 5. Those heard singing patriotic songs in public may
> be asked to show their voter registration cards.
DOne.
>
> 6. To be permitted to scream "Nuke Afghanistan," you
> must be able to correctly locate Afghanistan on a map
> or globe.
Done: between Iran, Pakistan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Tajikistan, and
China. It's capital is Kabul, and the country looks roughly like West
Virginia on steroids.
>
> 7. To be permitted to scream "Arabs go home," you
> must list and correctly locate ten Arab homelands.
Morocco, Algeria, Libya, Tunisia, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Iraq,
Jordan, Yemen, Oman, United Arab Emirates, Bahrain.... any more you
want? Okay, but don't go home, stay and keep paying taxes, but I wanna
see you burn an effigy of bin Laden in public.
>
> 8. Those who wish to express opinions about Arabs and
> Arab-Americans must pass the following test:
> A. Those who follow the religion of Islam are called:
> Moslems Muslins Fanatics
There are Moslems, and there are fanatical Moslems, and both are as
Muslim as the Pope and Jerry Fallwell are Christians....
> B. The holy book of Islam is called:
> The Koran The Koram The Bible
The Qur'an
> C. In Arabic, God is called:
> Ali Allah Jehovah
Allah
>
> 9. Priority for purchase of American flags will be
> given to those whose ancestors lived on American soil
> the longest. When all American Indians who wish to
> display the red, white and blue are satisfied, other
> applicants will be accepted.
Does this mean that Isrealis have a greater right to wave the
Palestinian flag than Palestinians? ;)
>
> 10. A call for war on any radio talk-show will be
> construed as a public declaration of willingness to
> enlist in the US Army; callers will have 24 hours to
> complete the paperwork.
US Air Force veteran. Been there, done that, gave at the office. What
about YOU bub?
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