Hogs^2 (was: Confronting The Singularity Conference)

From: Amara Graps (amara@amara.com)
Date: Sun May 28 2000 - 07:20:22 MDT


(Very Off-topic.. but a little humor is a good thing, you know.)

From: phil osborn (philosborn@hotmail.com) Sat, 27 May 2000

>I have yet to hear of people having sex with motorcycles -
>altho now I'm starting to think maybe I shouldn't put the suggestion
>out there.

Then how about hogs and motorcycles? :-)

Happy Sunday.

Amara

====================================================================

     Hogs in Love

     Key West Rallies to Save Amorous Pig (from San Francisco Examiner,
     1996)

     KEY WEST, Fla. (AP) - Chi-Chi the potbellied pig is about this
     close to being castrated. His crime: falling in love with another
     hog - a Harley Davidson.

     Chi-Chi tried to have sex with the front wheel of the shiny black
     motorcycle he found in Walter Wyatt's yard. In the process, the
     50-pound beast scratched the paint and tore the bike's fabric
     cover.

     Wyatt's wife, Patricia, saw the whole thing from her kitchen and
     called police. There was at least $100 damage to the brand-new
     bike, she said.

     Animal control officers say Chi-Chi's fate is pretty much sealed,
     since state law requires them to neuter all unclaimed strays. Then
     it's off to a petting zoo.

     But not if Wyatt and other residents in this independent-minded
     city have their way.

     "His crime is an alleged sex act against a Harley," Wyatt said
     Wednesday. "We don't even know if that's a felony!"

     A developer has raised $300 for the "Spring Chi-Chi" defense fund.

     Wayne Smith, president of the Monroe County Bar Association, is
     handling the case pro bono. "The punishment could be death or what
     some males may consider a fate worse than death," Smith said.

     A motorcycle salesman was considering offering to let Chi-Chi go
     hog-wild in his showroom, just to get the lust out of his gut.
     "Just a night's stay," he said.

     And given that Chi-Chi's owner has chosen not to reclaim him, at
     least one person has offered to adopt the pig - even if there's
     less of him to love.

     The would-be owner wrote to the Chamber of Commerce and ended his
     letter: "P.S. I have a broken scooter. It's his."
====================================================================

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Amara Graps email: amara@amara.com
Computational Physics vita: finger agraps@shell5.ba.best.com
Multiplex Answers URL: http://www.amara.com/
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